When Lindsay Lohan celebrates her 23rd birthday she does it in style, she squeezes her skinny body into a nice bikini and heads to Vegas for the weekend. It looks like she’s starting to lose some weight on her lady love handles, I’m not pleased, when I say love handles obviously I mean tits. When I’m making the love I need something I can get a firm hold on, I also wear golf shoes for better traction. It’s not weird.

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Normally I like when skinny chicks cover their faces, it happens to me more often than I care to admit, but Lindsay Lohan is hot, she should be proud of her good looks like I am. If anything she should be covering those skinny chicken legs of hers, if my waitress at Hooters brought me those things I’d have to send them back, I have a big appetite. Unless they through in an order of curly fries.

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Lindsay Lohan has posted a nice topless picture of herself on her Twitter page from an old photoshoot or some shit like that. I guess she’s upset that she’s not getting enough attention, there are only so many fake lesbian leg wrestling jokes bloggers can come up with.

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan in some short shorts looking like a cracked out hooker, luckily for her I like my hookers cracked out, they’re up for anything. I don’t understand the knee high waders she’s wearing, maybe she’s going clamming (way too many lesbian jokes for one post)…

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It’s not every day I get pictures of Lindsay Lohan out in public with her hard nipples showing, I know, who am I kidding, we’ve all scene this shit before. So you know the drill, sweet boobies, some lame joke about lesbian leg wrestling, I wish she was back on the penis bandwagon… etc. Enjoy.

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I like to think that Lindsay Lohan is a really good friend of mine. Sure I’ve never met her, I’ve never really spoke to her, my only relationship with her is when I left some creepy messages on a voicemail that someone claimed was hers, but she is the person who comes to me in my dreams, wearing nothing but a sheer top, like some kind of guardian angel who will one day carry me away to a better place and I guess it could all stem from my imagination, maybe from the hard drug use, but I really think it’s something bigger, it gives me hope…a hope that one day lost lovers can be reunited a few months after a public break-up, as she constantly runs back to Samantha Ronson’s house, not that I ever think she was dating her, I mean how could she commit to someone while constantly coming to me in my motherfuckin dreams.

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan in an absolutely terrible outfit the other day teasing me with a little sexy tongue action. Normally when a chick does this shit with her tongue it either means she wants to bang me or she’s got a little leftover peanut butter or cocaine on her upper lip. In this case I’m going to say she wants a piece of this. Unfortunately the fat lady moo-moo she’s hiding her big skinny girl boobs under is making me softer than the back of Oprah Winfrey’s arms.

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Once again, here’s another celebrity whose outfit just doesn’t work. There’s no point in wearing a bra with a see through top. You either wear just the bra or just the see through top, together they cancel each other out. What’s even worse about these pictures is the only good meat left on Lindsay Lohan are her tits and she has them covered up. Big disappointment.

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